My Quality of Life Scale
I had an “epiphany” one day several years ago when all of this suddenly came to me crystal-clear. I was in bed, dealing with a bad tooth infection and ruminating on my life. And when this came to me, it helped to put things into perspective for me when I was in a lot of pain and agony. And ever since then, it has continued to make perfect sense to me as a way to live my life. I think it can be compared to the Integrity Tone Scale, although at the time that I came up with this, I had not yet ever heard of that. I think that it is basically the same thing, although the Integrity Tone Scale focuses more on emotions and perceptions – Point of View. But like the Integrity Tone Scale, my “system” here also involves the necessity of integrating each step as an ongoing and permanent state, and one in which someone would need to always be working on in different ways, as one moves on up to the different “levels.” And it is mostly a matter of working on all of these areas at the same time, the first step being basic survival, and on up to the ultimate self-fulfillment and prosperity.
I use this system as a way to be in touch with myself about “where” I am at any given time; to let me know how I am doing and where I am currently sitting, and where I want to “go.” I have found it a simple and helpful way to keep me clear about things.
First on my scale is:
1. HEALTH.
This is the bottom of the scale in that it represents basic survival requirements. If we do not have basic health, then nothing else really matters. It is about taking care of ourselves in a way in which we are being “in integrity” to ourselves – our bodies, our basic well-being. There are things that we humans need at our most basic: good food, a suitable shelter, adequate sleep, etc. But I believe many of us these days do not pay enough attention to these basic needs. I think that most of us need to pay more attention to our health needs than we do. And I believe that until we can be at a place of “maximum integrity” regarding our physical health, then we stay stuck at the bottom of the scale.
And it is not about accomplishing some specific thing and then being “done.” This is something that needs to be ongoing – a permanent, constant state of being and living. Only then are we approaching a higher level of the scale. It is about accepting reality; accepting the reality of our bodies and souls and being responsible for doing what is necessary. (And “accepting” does not mean “giving up.” One can be “in integrity” with one’s health even with a life-threatening illness. People have been known to beat incredible odds in defiance of the apparent “reality.” There is a difference in being determined to overcome something and in being out of touch with reality.)
The next place on my scale is:
2. ORDER.
This is where I currently am much challenged. But it is essential for me to make progress in this area if I am ever going to succeed with other goals. This is not just about being “neat and clean” or organized. This is a Whole Life thing. At its most basic, it is the need to live in an environment that allows us to be at our best. I believe that most people do better with some level of order in their lives. But this is not just about physical order, it is about order regarding our finances, and about our schedules; how we spend our time and do what we do. It is about having power over ourselves and our environment and not being a victim to any of it. And I know there are many of us who feel, at least sometimes, that we are a victim of our schedules, if nothing else. I feel that I need to be “in integrity” with all of this in order to be able to fully live up to my potential and live a satisfying life. It is about being in control of my environment – knowing where to find things, for example. It is also about having my “ducks in a row,” about “leveling the playing field,” having a “clear palette,” living true to myself. It is the starting place for becoming the best person I can be. I need to be free and clear and “on top of my world” in order to feel good about what I do or be able to even “see” what I need or want to do.
This is also the area that I think is probably particularly troublesome for someone with ADHD. It is troublesome though, as well, because of the crazy world we now live in. There is simply “too much” of everything. And there isn’t really a “right” way to be, because we are all different in what our needs are. I am perfectly fine with a type of “cluttered order” where it may look chaotic to someone else but work perfectly well for me. What I am dealing with right now does not fit that category and does not work for me even if or when it looks neat.
A better place to be than still dealing with chaos, is the next thing, which I call
3. GOALS.
I consider this to be about the things one wants to do or aspire to in their lives. It is about one’s work or vocation; it is about the kinds of things we aspire to do in our lives, the kinds of things that make us feel fulfilled or that our life is good. It is about accomplishing things, being a part of things, making a place for ourselves in the world, personal fulfillment. For me, it is about living according to my dreams of working as a writer and artist, of creating things that can enrich my world and make me feel like I am doing what I am “meant” to do. It is about the things we choose for ourselves in how we live our lives. It is not about how much money one makes unless that is what that person’s goal actually consists of.
My goals are not about money. It is simply about living in a way that works for me – but as for most people, living usually requires money, so it is also about ensuring my financial needs are met. However, for me, that topic comes before this one – it is part of #2-Order, having my “ducks in a row,” the matter of having enough money to live on, making sure my income exceeds or matches my expenses and whatever it takes to accomplish that. #3-Goals is about going above and beyond that, to either increasing income doing what I love to do, or being able to produce at least adequate income doing exactly what I want to do. Otherwise, if it was just about making money, I would take some “regular” job. But that does not motivate me because it is not what my goals are about.
Our goals often will involve where and how we make money, but it does not necessarily have to; it is really about choice. And if someone is not living within one’s means, then that more logically belongs up in the “Order” or perhaps even the “Health” area because that means someone is not being “in integrity” with the basic issue of making ends meet. But there is more to personal fulfillment than simply making money, so this is more about how one chooses to live, whether someone has a good job or not; it is about choices.
I will say though that I think a person can be in this place to a degree, while still working to improve one’s basic situation. Because, again, this is all about how one lives one’s life in a “Whole Person” kind of way; but if someone is not being successful in some basic areas, then it won’t really be possible to reach one’s potential or really thrive at a higher level. The other things get in the way and drag a person down. That is what I believe. It is my utmost goal to reach this area at this point in my life and I am very compelled at present to carve my way to it.
Finally, having reached a place of success in what I seek to achieve and how I intend to live, my ultimate goal and what I believe must be the highest goal of anyone is:
4. HELPING OTHERS.
Because in the end, when we are doing what makes us happy and living successfully, I believe that most of us would be most fulfilled by being able to help others. An author wants to be published, not just because of any possible fame and fortune, but primarily in order to appeal to readers and enrich their lives in some way. I am sure that not everyone thinks that way, but I believe they would if they were able to be truly honest and “in integrity.” I truly believe that we are “designed” to need each other and to help each other and to wish to share our blessings with each other. My ultimate goal is to be able to live in such a way that I can brighten or enrich others’ lives or help people in need; to be a positive force in the world in whatever way I am capable of. That is what makes our short lives worthwhile. That is my belief: that one’s ultimate fulfillment is to leave their mark on the world by contributing to the lives of others or to future generations. And while everyone can do this in small ways at any time, the only way to really be able to be in this position is when one has taken care of oneself in a necessary way. I have always loved to give but have done so when it has left me needy and that is not the way to do it; this I have learned. This makes me more determined to do the best I can with my life – so that I can help others.
And that is my “Quality of Life Scale.” I am stuck somewhere between #1-Health and #2-Order. While I have made some strides into #3-Goals (e.g., my artwork and finishing my children’s book), I still have a ways to go before I can really give this my best and start to THRIVE. And that is where I want to be. I believe that I can be there very soon, but this shows why I feel so urgent to have my house done soon.
