“Goals Group” 2009

This year at Molly’s “Goals Group,” we made “dream boards.”  I really enjoyed this process.  I felt so “freed” and enthusiastic about envisioning my dreams for the future.

I brought and used as my “witness” this year, this brass figurine I have of a pig with wings, similar to this:  “Flying Pig.”

Then we were instructed to work on a series of questions and to write about it:

Question #1:  Tell me what you long for:

Answer:  Freedom/personal expression.  FREE to Be, to Learn, to Grow, To Thrive, to Create, and to Give; to live free and marvelously.

Question #2:  What are you nostalgic for?

Answer:  If, when I was a kid, my creative longings had been given free reign, letting me be as crazy as I could be.

Question #3:  What are your regrets?

Answer:  Oppressive/repressive religion; Fear, being told I was “bad;” knowledge was forbidden, there were “secrets,” there was pain; Drugs, self-destruction.

Question #4:  What are your desires?

Answer:  A ‘dream home,’ the ‘good life.’

Question #5:  What are your secrets? Something about yourself that you have never shared; deepest, darkest, silliest, or shameful:

Answer:  [And I am keeping this answer to myself, as everyone’s “secrets” are private – or they wouldn’t be “secrets.”]  I did, however, also make this comment:  Can’t secrets just go away and disappear?  The answer I received was:  NO.  Not unless you release them.  So I “released” them.  I revealed them to Molly.  And that was extremely “freeing.”

Question #6:  If you were a landscape (street scene, neighborhood, park, etc.), where or what would you be?  Describe self in detail: 

Answer:  …someplace that sounds just right; what landscape am I at this moment? I previously was a STORM, dark, violent, alone, seething.  Now?  A garden?  An explosion of color and beauty about to take off on wings… [I can visualize it.]

Question #7:  The seasons of your life – when was ‘winter,’ ‘summer,’ ‘spring,’ ‘fall’; what season are you now; what season are you moving towards:

Answer:  I feel like I have just awakened; like I have been sleeping for years, crawling through the snowdrifts of winter; soft and gray, like twilight.  Have I known a ‘summer’ or a ‘fall?’  I think I am entering ‘spring-time.’  I can anticipate a ‘summer-time’ of joy, and a restful, contentment-filled ‘fall’ – followed perhaps by a ‘winter’ of peace.  But I am in the ‘spring-time’ of my life in many ways.

Question #8:  Tell me about a “Beloved.”

Answer:  The only ‘beloved’ I can think of is something/someone that I dreamed up many years ago; it is an ‘Angel,’ it is a man; it is a soul-mate, a lover, a comforter, a savior, and a champion.  It is solace and it is joy; it is safety and it is self-affirmation.  I ‘summon’ my ‘Angel’ at times when I need something and only ‘he’ can provide what I need.  [So does this mean, really, that my “Beloved” is myself; my own imagination?]

Question #9:  Joys and sorrows of your life:

Answer: 

Question #10:  If you could get out of the “box” you’re in, what is your escape fantasy:

Answer:

• In childhood, I fantasized that my Real Parents would come rescue me and take me back to the Planet that I belong on, and I would live happily ever after. 
• Another fantasy, when I was older, was about being independently wealthy and living in a Tropical Paradise, writing Bestsellers on my Laptop Computer, sitting in the sand under a Palm Tree and drinking a cocktail – with a sexy lifeguard? Scuba instructor? – at my beck and call. 
• Another was that I was a Secret Agent, Glamorous, Rich, Clever, and Exotic, travelling to Exotic Places, having Exotic Adventures, and a little bit of Danger. 
• These days my “escape fantasy” is about being a published writer, finding and fixing up my “dream house”, meeting the “right” man, and living a beautiful, creative, fulfilling life with my son and Someone Special.